My life as a giraffe

During the month of September 2003 it came to me that I should paint a giraffe That idea kept me busy for several weeks. With resistance I started looking for a picture of a giraffe to inspire me start painting. In the books at my place I couldn't find a suiting one, so I visited the state library in Stockholm, where I also looked in children's books but not even there I could find a good picture of a giraffe. I more or less gave up the search.

The walk to the shop is the same every day, change sides only one and then. On this particular day I was somehow pulled over to the other side by some unvisiable force. And Voilá! There in a shop window was my photo of the giraffe, and it was such a beautiful and lovely one, divine in it's gracefulness! I even could sense it as if we got eye contact. An euphoric feelng of bliss vibrated through my heart. Finally we met! A bit shaky I knocked the door and a woman opened. I asked her if I could borrow the graceful picure, to inspire me painting. She didn't understand me at all and I got no picture with me. As I got back home I realized that this was really the picture to help me get started, and I decided to make new try to borrow it the following day.

This time a man opened the door, and he gave the picture to me as a loan over the weekend with one condition; That I would show him the result! I got back home, took out paint and brushes, put on some music and placed the easel in the kitchen (best light there), contacted my Inner Guide, and experienced myself entering a higher state of awareness. After a couple of hours there was a giraffe filled with soul. It was so amazingly beautiful. All the process had been so playfully easy, with no resistance at all. Touched I looked at the picture and I could see that it was a baby giraffe. With humbleness it touched my heart.

My daughter Hanna and her boyfriend Per got the picture as a X-mas gift, for the waiting nursery. In the picture was ”built in” the wish for soon addition to the family. In January 2004 I went to a workshop. During one exercice we had, using eyeshields, we were cleansing fears. There were crying and screaming heard. I was totally still and silent in laying position. Suddenly I could hear the sounds of drum beats. It sounded like African drums. Slowly I stood up and I started dancing, what I experienced as African dance. My legs and feet seemed to have a life of their own, as the rythm and beats increased in intensity and tempo. There appeared pictures from a past life in Africa. I could recognize several of the women that I had painted and finally I saw myself as the baby giraffe that I had painted. It was as if I was afraid and sad, running around on the Savanna alone, looking for my mama.

Three months later I was told that I was to become grandma.